Author Archive: Mckinzie Frisbie

Beyond Bars

Breaking Barriers between Daughters with Incarcerated Mothers

A daughter and mother, participants of the Girls Scouts’ Beyond Bars Program, embrace during a visit.
photo courtesy Girl Scouts of the USA

Kadence* peered around the corner of the doorway, her eyes carefully following the movements of her grandmother, Trixie, across the room.

She is here to attend her monthly Girl Scouts’ Beyond Bars meeting that begins in twenty minutes, and appears to be wondering where her grandmother is going so close to starting time. Kadence does not know that Trixie and I will be discussing the impact that the Beyond Bars Program has had on her 11-year-old life.

Trixie sits down across from me, her tattooed hands delicately fold on the table as she looks up with blue eyes and begins to tell her story.

“I got Kadence when she was six—four and a half years ago—and it was very rough,” Trixie said. “Not because we didn’t love her, it was just rough because you don’t have a little one running around and boom, you have that responsibility.”

Trixie’s daughter, Sarah*, was sentenced in 2009 to four and a half years in prison for fraud, theft and forgery. Six months had passed when Trixie received a letter in the mail from the Girl Scouts’ Beyond Bars Program.

The program, which was piloted in Pima County in 2011, takes the Beyond Bars troop to visit their mothers once a month at Perryville State Prison in Goodyear, Arizona. Monthly meetings are also held for the girls at the Girl Scouts center.

With tears in her eyes, Trixie explains how the program for young girls has allowed Kadence to blossom. She is now an enthusiastic reader, a survival camp participant and a peer mediator on her school’s playground.

“She was a little flower and she opened up. She is so completely different,” Trixie said. “She is so outgoing now, when before she would cry every night. It’s just different now; she’s not like that anymore. She looks at me and my husband as ‘Mom and Dad.’”

Trixie says she is proud of the progress that she and Kadence have made with the program, overcoming circumstances that were not as positive as they are today. Kadence initially went through a hard time in school because she was unsure how to communicate with her peers about where her mother was, Trixie said.

“It was hard because kids would always say, ‘Your mom is here. But she would say, ‘It’s my grandma!’ And then they would ask, ‘Well, why is your grandma picking you up?’”

Although Trixie acknowledges she was never a fervent Girl Scouts fan in the past, she says the program has been a haven for girls like Kadence. The support system opens up discussion between girls who can relate to realities of what it is like to have a mother in prison, Trixie said.

The Beyond Bars Program was awarded $15,000 by the Wings Like Eagles Foundation in December 2013. The funds cover the cost of transportation, snacks, books and uniforms for families that may not be able to afford registration fees, said Lesley Rich, social justice manager of the Girl Scouts of Southern Arizona.

“We want to have strong women in our community,” Rich said. “So where do we start with that? We start with the girls.”

During the two-hour monthly Beyond Bars troop meeting at the Girl Scouts center, the girls work on cookie sales and traditional Girl Scouts activities in an atmosphere that gives the girls a place to be themselves, Rich said.

“I think being a part of a troop where all the girls are in similar situations just lifts such an immense weight off their shoulders, because for one time they don’t have to pretend,” Rich said. “So many times, girls want to pretend that their life is perfect. We want girls to be empowered to be themselves, to be confident in whatever is going on and to learn how to share those feelings.”

Twenty-one girls have participated in the program since its beginning in 2011, Rich explained, and the program helps create a smoother family transition as the mothers come home after long periods of time in prison. After the women are released, their daughters almost always leave the care of relatives and are placed back into the mother’s custody, Rich said.

This often is a matter of years spent apart growing and changing, and building trust during their incarceration helps prevent mothers from becoming strangers to their daughters, Rich said.

The Girl Scouts contract parenting coaches that work with incarcerated mothers to learn behavioral management skills, understanding the developmental stages of their daughters’ brains, and how to help set life goals, Rich said.

The moms who have been released from Perryville State Prison and attend the monthly Beyond Bars Troop meetings mentor each other and support the girls, and Rich says that she has witnessed how the program has changed mothers’ lives by sparking a new appreciation for their daughters.

“We’ve seen that the moms and the daughters really get to know each other,” Rich said. “One of the moms said to me, ‘I didn’t know my daughter as well as I know her now.’ Coming out of it, they have this whole new relationship that they never would have had.”

Rich and other Girl Scouts leaders pick up five to 10 girls on the way to the prison. They range in school age from kindergarten to eighth grade. The troop meets up with girls from Arizona Cactus Pines, the Beyond Bars Program of northern Arizona, at the state prison.

The anticipation of having to pass through heavy security can be daunting for younger girls. However, the girls who have been to Perryville before give words of encouragement to what lies ahead, Rich said.

“As you may imagine, walking into a prison can be scary. There is barbed wire, there [are] metal detectors,” Rich said. “If you explain that it is going to be a little bit scary, and there are going to be police officers all over the place, but once you pass that second door, your mom is going to be there, that hope and excitement gets them through the rest.”

Once inside, Rich says the girls excitedly reunite with their mothers and share what has happened in their lives over the past month.

Mothers and daughters, participants of the Girls Scouts’ Beyond Bars Program, share and listen to stories during a prison visit.
photo courtesy Girl Scouts of the USA

Contrary to standard visitation procedure, the spacious meeting room reserved for the Beyond Bars troop has no restrictions on touching, and Rich says that the girls quickly end up on their mothers’ laps in a sentimental reunion.

Limited supplies are allowed into the prison, but Rich says that the girls are able to bring glue and magazines for hands-on crafts, and singing is a common pastime.

The girls and moms work on Girl Scout badges together, and Rich says that the Simple Snack badge is one of the girls’ favorites. The activity involves a set time to construct a healthy meal plan from coupons. The game strengthens decision-making and communication processes while teaching nutrition and budgeting, although Rich says the choices they make are often silly.

“We ask them at the end, ‘Do you want to eat that?’” Rich said, “and they’re like, ‘No,’ because they have broccoli, and salad, and Brussels sprouts and orange juice. That’s always a good one. And again, it’s that strong skill. When the moms get out, they’re going to need to know how to budget.”

Another cherished activity is creating a ‘vision board,’ which allows the girls to share their dreams with their mothers, Rich said. The girls craft together inspiring words and pictures from magazines while writing letters of encouragement to one another. Working together, the mothers and daughters plan how to pursue goals in life.

Science, technology, engineering and math games are played in an atmosphere where it is okay to be imperfect, Rich said. The games allow for close interaction that strengthens the bond between mother and daughter, Rich said, which can turn into a bittersweet moment when the time is up.

“It’s always hard leaving, because the girls are so sad,” Rich said. “Especially the younger ones who might not quite understand still what’s going on as much as an older girl. So sometimes there are tears, but we always say, ‘It’s not a goodbye, it’s just a see you later, we’ll be back next month.’ That’s the important thing about our program. We go consistently, so the girls and the moms can count on that.”

For further information about the Girl Scouts Beyond Bars Program, please visit Girl Scouts.org and search for “Girl Scouts Beyond Bars.” In other Girl Scout news, the Whistle Stop Depot is holding a special Girl Scouts “Cookies & Cocktails” event on Friday, March 21 from 6-9 p.m. at 127 W. Fifth St. The night will consist of live music entertainment, fine wine and desserts inspired by Girl Scout Cookies. More information about the event, including ticket pricing and purchase, can be found at GetInvolved.GirlScoutsSOAZ.org/cocktails.

*Asterisked names were changed to protect the privacy of the individuals.