goddamn damn dogs dognammit. y’know. sonoran hot dogs.

Once smothered in guacamole, this hot dog from Sammy el Sinaloense is ready to be devoured by yours truly.

I have my vices, but I like to think of myself as a relatively healthy eater. I mean—and let’s be honest with each other here—to eat “relatively” healthily isn’t that difficult these days if the bar is set at an all-American diet of processed meat and cheese, corn-based products of all kinds, and sugar sweet bevs. So, yeah. Compared to that guy over there, I eat like a friggin’ hippy. So… Whose idea was the Sonoran hot dog!? Jesus! I’d thought my friend was a god-given savior when he introduced me to the Chilean completo, but that has, what? Some mayo and guacamole on top of a regular hot dog. Big deal. The Sonoran hot dog, my friends—as you all well know!—is a whole different beast. I think it may single-handedly defeat my attempts to eat well where goat cheese, Doritos, macaroni and cheese, and pupusas con queso have all failed.

The hot dog (pre-guacamole) & accompanying bacon-wrapped, cheese-stuffed chile at Sammy el Sinaloense.

I’ve always had a little thing for hot dogs. Where I’m from (Maine), I’ve always appreciated the impulse to butter and grill a hot dog bun. It adds a nice touch. But I could resist those hot dogs. I could admire them from afar and then go home and cook myself up a nice, healthy lunch, with the hot dog temptation but a distant memory. So why, oh why, did some perverse and dark genius need to come up with the idea of wrapping a hot dog in bacon? Seriously. Goodbye, salad. Sayonara, veggie stir-fry.  Rice and beans, hasta luego. I will not cook you, I will not eat you, and you can take your healthfulness and presence of necessary nutrients and shove ‘em. I want a goddamn Sonoran hot dog and I want it now. Yup, with a Mexican Coca Cola. Thank you and goodnight.

Okay—on a more practical note, where should I be going to get the best Sonoran hot dog? So far, being the pathetically recent newcomer to Tucson that I am, I’ve only gotten to sample one man’s take on this delicious, calorie-laden excuse for a meal. Taqueria Sammy el Sinaloense (corner of Grant & Country Club, open 10am to 7pm most days except Sundays) makes a damn good Sonoran hot dog, but is someone doing it better? (I’ll add that in my ignorance I find that highly unlikely, because not only is the hot dog wrapped in bacon at Sammy’s, but the hot dog is accompanied by a hot blanco chile stuffed with cheese… And wrapped in bacon. Goddamn. Also they have limonada and horchata filled with such homemade-y goodness that I don’t even crave Mexi Coke. But I’m probably only illustrating my ignorance here. There must be dozens of places in this city vying for the title of Best Sonoran Hot Dog.* Annnnnd. I kinda want to try them all.) Show me the way! Let us go forth and eat some damn dogs!

*And I happen to live basically around the corner from one of El Guero Canelo’s locations, speaking of Best Sonoran Hot Dogs for the last million years anyone’s ever voted on anything, ever… So once I manage to slough off my prematurely-developing loyalty to Sammy El Sinaloense, I’ll check that out, for sure.

Category: Zocalo Hannah